


nothing the same after tonight (and how am i gonna tell you)

by cori_the_bloody



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode Fix-it, F/F, Heather's POV, One Shot, and we deserved gay smooches, because Valencia was totally jealous, trigger warning: suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 04:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12787308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cori_the_bloody/pseuds/cori_the_bloody
Summary: If 3.06 had been gayer, it might have gone a little something like this.





	nothing the same after tonight (and how am i gonna tell you)

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd and my first attempt at getting inside the mind of Heather Davis. so be kind maybe?

“Get in my way again, and I will end you,” Valencia says, and Heather almost snorts to herself when she bares teeth.

“I-I was just…I thought Heather might want, um, some caffeine. Cause it’s early. And people drink coffee early in the morning,” Hector says, gesturing to the carafe that sits at the back of the cafeteria on the third floor. Heather can see the beads of sweat glistening on his temple from her place at the end of the hallway and decides it’s time to intervene.

“Hey guys,” she says, strolling up to them and gently bumping Hector with her shoulder. “Everything cool?”

He smiles at her, but his nervousness rolls off him in waves.

“Absolutely,” Valencia says with forced cheeriness. “Hector and I were just gathering refreshments. Tell me again, are you a cream or no cream in your coffee kind of girl?”

Heather raises her eyebrows. “I really don’t have strong feelings either way.”

Valencia sneers at Hector. “Told you.”

“You sure did,” he says, forcing a loud laugh. “I guess you know Heather better than me.”

With a satisfied hair flick, V stomps off back to the waiting room. As soon as she’s out of sight, Hector visibly relaxes, letting out his held breath in a gust.

“Dude.”

“You didn’t know her in grade school, alright? She’s not afraid to make you bleed.”

“See, I think her threatening demeanor is just a way to protect herself from getting hurt,” Heather says, staring off after Valencia. “Like, if she forces people away from the start, she doesn’t get wounded if they pull back after actually getting to know her.”

Hector considers that, stirring some sugar into a Styrofoam cup full of coffee. “Nah, I think she just likes to see people bend over backward to get her what she wants.”

Heather frowns. “It’s kinda important to me that my romantic partners get along with my friends.”

“Well then you might want to tell Valencia that she’s making it impossible.”

She hums in acknowledgement and frowns at her boots.

###

“You ruin a shot again, and I will put you in ICU.”

Heather throws the magazine she’s been paging through onto the empty seat next to her. “V, can I talk to you?”

“One sec, I’m not finished with this update.”

“I’m sure all those _complete strangers_ will be there to hang on your every insincere word in ten minutes.”

As Heather drags her toward the ladies’ room, Valencia mutters something about being considerate of different time zones and having to keep up with a specific schedule.

“What is your problem?” Heather demands as soon as the door falls shut behind them.

“What do you mean?” Valencia asks coolly, turning to the mirror and fiddling with her hair.

“You’re treating faceless people on the internet with more respect than Hector, someone you’ve known since kindergarten.”

Valencia shrugs. “That’s just how Hector and I kid around. He knows it’s harmless.”

“I don’t know. He’s, like, legitimately frightened of you.”

“What a joke…though I could crush his head with my thighs, and it’s never a bad idea to remind him of the time I almost did.”

“Oh, my god, do you hear yourself right now?”

Valencia turns away from the mirror then, cocking her head. “I don’t understand why you’re getting so upset. I’m doing this for you.”

That pulls Heather up short. “You’re…what?”

“Yeah. Hector’s a total dweeb with nothing to offer,” Valencia explains. “You could be doing so much better, and it’s always a good idea to remind boys when that’s the case—keeps them under your thumb. You’re too laidback to really get the job done, so I thought I’d step in.”

Heather blinks. “Oh, I get it. This is, like, a defense mechanism, right? Because you’re afraid that now that I have a boyfriend our bond as friends will be tested?”

Valencia laughs, but there’s an edge to it that Heather can’t quite read. “No, silly. I know you and I are solid.”

“Are you sure? Because one of your few female friends just tried to kill herself and another is spending all her time tending to her and I’m in a new relationship…it wouldn’t be weird to feel a little lost or out of place.”

“Well I don’t,” Valencia snips.

Heather shakes her head, trying to rewind their conversation in her head and find out what she missed. But her mind is blank and V is staring at her expectantly.

She offers a hollow smile. “Okay. Good.”

“Are we done here?” Valencia asks.

“I guess so.”

“Great! I have an update to finish filming. The Bunch-of-Friends will be so delighted to hear Rebecca’s getting released.”

“Sure,” Heather says, hanging back as Valencia pushes through the swinging door. After it thuds closed again, she locks herself in a stall. She stares at the lopsided heart and helpline number someone’s carved into the chipping beige paint on the wall for a full five minutes, gnawing at the skin around her thumbnail and trying to figure out what’s up with the twisting in her stomach.

###

The silence between them ratchets Heather’s discontent up to eleven.

Valencia’s at the island writing a script for another video—one for Rebecca’s triumph, if she manages to wrangle a new diagnosis from Dr. Akopian, and one in case she’s stuck with what she was already given—and Heather simply can’t take it anymore. She marches over and tugs the notebook out from under her pen.

“Excuse you.” Valencia reaches across the counter, trying to snatch it back, but Heather holds it out of her reach. “I was in the middle of a sentence and I’m going to lose my train of thought!”

“Good,” Heather says.

“What is with you today? Every time I do anything to share Rebecca’s inspiring story, you get pissy.”

“Rebecca’s story isn’t about inspiration,” Heather says. “You’re treating her like she’s some symbol of recovery just so you can feel good about yourself when hundreds of people like your videos.”

“She is a symbol,” Valencia says, sliding gracefully off her barstool and rounding the counter, eyes on the notebook.

Heather dances easily out of arm’s length. “She’s a human person, V.”

“She can be both,” Valencia insists, hissing out the ‘th’ sound in both. They’re on opposite sides of the island now, and there’s a sort of deranged gleam in Valencia’s eyes.

“You know what?” Heather asks, not sure why she suddenly feels the impulse to fan those particular flames.

“Hmm?” Valencia cocks her head, stare laser focused on the notebook Heather’s waving around in front of her face.

“Ever since you decided that the best way to contact people worried about Rebecca was through insincere, viral videos and a week of heightened social media attention, you’ve been behaving like a real basic B. And in case it wasn’t clear, I don’t mean in the enjoyable way.”

“I don’t exist for your entertainment, okay? You don’t have to approve everything I do before I do it.”

“Oh man, that’s rich. You realize why, right? I don’t need to, like, spell it out for you?”

Instead of answering, Valencia roars—the sound filling the entire house—and hops up onto the counter. Before Heather processes what’s happening, V slides across the island and launches herself right at her chest.

They hit the tile with a loud crash, Heather’s elbow absorbing a lot of the impact. The pain makes her squeak.

She tries to curl in around her tingling arm, but Valencia’s landed firmly overtop of her. One of her knees is pressing into Heather’s hip and some of her hair is in Heather’s mouth.

“Are you for real?” Heather yells after the shock of the fall dissipates. “Did you really just risk cracking my head open for a stupid status update!?”

Valencia scrambles off her and falls back onto her bum. She hugs her knees close to her chest, and Heather’s so busy trying to catch her breath that it takes her several moments to realize she’s crying.

“You’re right; I’ve been a total B these past couple days.” Valencia’s voice comes out high and strained.

Heather softens instantly, tossing the notebook aside and scooting across the floor until she’s sitting next to Valencia. She rubs a tentative hand across the warm skin between her shoulder blades, and Valencia flops into her, her head knocking against Heather’s jaw gently. She applies more pressure.

“None of us have really been ourselves,” Heather says soothingly.

Valencia nods and nuzzles into Heather’s side. She smiles to herself.

“I think…I had to make what happened into something big and impersonal, you know? I had to make it about other people so I could avoid dealing with how it was affecting _me_.”

“I get that.”

“When we got that call that Rebecca…I was so scared,” Valencia says hoarsely.

“Me too,” Heather admits, whispering.

Valencia gives herself over to the tears, and Heather continues rubbing her back, letting her work through the pent up emotions. After a while, V sits up and swipes at the running mascara on her cheeks.

“God, what a relief,” she says. “To have finally let that out.”

“I’m sure,” Heather says, pushing to her feet and holding a hand out for Valencia, who takes it. Her fingers brush the inside of Heather’s wrist, sending a jolt down her arm not unlike the one she’d felt after hitting her elbow…but also totally and completely different.

She frowns to herself, waiting for the contents of her stomach to right themselves. The mystery’s been solved after all…motivations have been laid plainly on the table.

Yet something’s still nagging at her.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so cold these last couple days. You know, to everyone.”

Heather nods, her mind flashing to Hector.

“It’s cool,” she says, but the knots in her stomach tighten.

###

Heather takes a deep, steadying breath before knocking.

Valencia opens the door, already smiling, and immediately beckons Heather inside. “This is a lovely surprise.”

“Yeah, sorry to drop by unannounced,” she says, storming into the apartment with purpose.

“I’m used to it by now,” Valencia says, waving away her apology. “And I do love impromptu Heather, so don’t take this the wrong way…but why aren’t you with Hector? Things have finally calmed down. You can go on a real third date or whatever.”

Heather’s mouth feels dry and she shuffles her feet. Just a second ago, everything she needs to say had been right on the tip of her tongue. But the fire she felt on the drive over fizzles out as soon as it’d flared up, and she’s left awkwardly standing in the middle of Valencia’s living room, bubbling over with nervous energy.

“I broke up with him, actually.”

Valencia freezes and then starts fiddling with the vase of fresh flowers that’s always sitting on her kitchen counter. “Oh? I thought you guys seemed kind of happy.”

And, there, that forced nonchalance…it makes Heather’s stomach flip with confusion. Because what if she’s reading too much into it? What if she really did imagine everything, and Valencia’s behavior simply does just come down to her trying to deal with Rebecca’s suicide attempt?

Heather’s not really one to overthink—always so sure of herself and her feelings and her ability to read everyone else’s feelings—so the past couple days have been hell. She’s sick of being so uncertain.

Resolve hardening, she stands up and little straighter and stares Valencia directly in the eye.

“I was using him,” she says, matter-of-fact.

Valencia’s brow wrinkles. “You were?”

Heather shrugs. “A new beau is a good excuse not to focus on yourself, right? And that’s what I wanted: to put off thinking about my future. Plus, he was interested and good-looking. So why not? I used him.”

“Wow,” Valencia says, but there’s nothing mean about the tone of her voice. “I mean…wow.”

“Yeah.”

“You know, that’s kind of basic of you, Heather.”

She laughs. “Sure. I deserved that.”

Valencia grins, but after a moment it slips from her face. The wrinkle between her brows comes back, deeper than before. “I can’t do the whole girl comfort, post-breakup thing. I’m not really equipped for it—I don’t even have ice cream here.”

“You never have ice cream, I know that,” Heather assures her. “That’s not why I’m here.”

“Okay…” Valencia goes back to playing with the flowers, breaking eye contact. “Why are you here?”

Heather crosses the room, stopping right beside Valencia. Her fingers circle Valencia’s wrist, forcing her to stop fidgeting. V looks up at her, surprised, but doesn’t pull away.

Encouraged, Heather smiles softly and puts any last-minute reservations out of her head.

“So, I kinda got it in my mind that you were being so mean to Hector because you were jealous.”

“Wh-what?” Valencia sputters, a flush creeping into her cheeks. “That’s—”

“I know. But when I found out you were acting like that because of Rebecca, I was a little disappointed honestly. I _wanted_ you to be jealous.”

She pauses, gauging Valencia’s reaction. The blush on her cheeks deepens and her teeth are worrying at her lower lip, but she’s still not pulling her hand away. Heather slides her palm against Valencia’s, lining up their fingers right before interlocking them and giving a squeeze.

“I dig you, V,” she says plainly. “And it’s cool if you don’t feel the same way. I’m not coy, though, so I can’t, like, go around pretending that I don’t have feelings for you. I’d be way too obvious, and neither of us wants to deal with the weirdness of my—”

Her unwinding speech is, mercifully, cut short when Valencia gets up on her tiptoes and kisses her.

It’s a simple kiss—unyielding but not demanding. Heather’s free hand finds Valencia’s lower back and presses her closer, while Valencia’s tangles into Heather’s curls, her fingertips pressing into the sensitive skin at the back of her neck.

“Cool, so, I guess I don’t have to worry about things getting weird between us,” Heather says after they’ve broken apart.

Valencia shoves her shoulder, but a pleased grin tugs at the corners of her mouth.

“I never said I dug you back,” she says, her tone playful.

Heather tilts her head to the side and concedes that with a low hum.

Valencia rolls her eyes and gets back onto her tiptoes, nudging Heather’s nose with her own.

Heather’s stomach jumps and, this time, she accepts the message it’s sending her without hesitation.

“Yeah, you pretty much didn’t have to,” she says, lips hovering over Valencia’s. “After all, I have a way of reading people.”


End file.
